Falling
by paraskavedekatriaphobia
Summary: Fang leaves and Max struggles with his choice. one shot. a nanodroplet of fax that is so small, you need an electron microscope to see it.


Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.

If I ever fell, Fang would catch me.

If I ever cried, Fang would comfort me.

If I ever gave up, Fang would push me ahead.

Fang isn't here anymore, but I'm still falling.

I hate this.

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

Why can't I catch myself?

* * *

><p>It was so addicting.<p>

The edge was close I could hear my heart race in anticipation at what was about to happen. The first time I caught myself falling off low mountains, enough to give me a kick, but not high enough to reach the ultimate speed. Now, I stand on the top of Mount Everest.

It's really cold here. A lot like myself now. My mind is frozen with memories, stuck in the past, unchanging.

My heart, unwelcome to love oraffection is open to nothing but bitterness. I left the flock, knowing I was not longer a good leader . I wasn't any good because I wasn't open to their sympathies. I didn't need their love, but I couldn't be a good leader without it.

So I left.

Below me, I could almost see the swirling clouds. Perfect.

I jumped.

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

It feels so good to fall.

Adrenaline rushes inside me, threatening to pop open my heart.

The air against my skin thaws me enough to release the memories inside myself. I can't remember who the flock is. Wait.. What is flock?

I think the warmth has something to do with friction. It doesn't matter. Soon I will forget that to.

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

I can never forget fang's face.

Dark, emo eyes, looking into my soul, scrutinizing everything I was, every part of my being.

He would have hated that I thought his eyes were emo looking.

I still remember his kisses.

They were one of his many ways to catch me, protect me from my slow plummet to earth.

Screw you Fang.

I don't need you anymore.

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

I can catch myself.

l  
>l<br>l  
>V<p>

...

* * *

><p>At the last second, I spread my wings.<p>

It feels like someone is trying to tear them from my back.

Good.

It means I'm not a squishy puddle on the ground.

Do you see me Fang?

I can handle myself.

I have fallen from the tallest of hurdles, from the steepest of slopes, pushed myself off the precipice. I'm done. For the first time in months, maybe years, I feel love to my flock. It wasn't fair to them that I left so suddenly. It wasn't fair that you left me so suddenly either, but people must move on and adapt. Otherwise we will all die. I don't need to fall anymore. In the past, you caught me. Now, I can catch myself. It feels twelve times as good to catch myself than it is to fall.

I will live.

I will live with love and without regret.

Today I found my peace of mind.

I will keep that forever.

Isn't that what those bald Indian guys that are half naked call Nirvana?

You would have made some kind of half crooked smile. That smile was sooo sweet. I loved that smile. I would have married you and made little chibi Fangs just to see that smile.

Okay, that sounded like a bit too much information.

By the way,

I discovered something else.

Fang?

This might sound really cheesy, but I forgive you.

* * *

><p>She walked off into the dreamy night, wings slightly opened, hair gently rocking with every step she took.<p>

On her face, a smile.

* * *

><p>Three years later<p>

The door bell rang. Max gently picked up the small child on her lap and set her down on the floor.

"Mommy has to go to the door. I'll be back really soon," she crooned. The three year old laughed and grabbed her hair.

"OW! You little brat." She smiled. The door bell rang several more times and for good measure, once more again just as she opened the door. On her front porch was a man with soul piercing eyes, soft lips, and black hair tied into a short ponytail. He looked worn, like over washed jeans torn by the claws of a cat.

"Max." He also looked very sad and extremely regretful. Max hugged him before ushering him inside of the small apartment.

"Fang! I haven't seen you in forever. Come in! you must be freezing. I'll get you something warm to drink." Fang looked bewildered as he slowly sat on her couch, a warm cup of something between tea and hot chocolate in his hands.

"I'm sorry to say my cooking skills haven't improved much since the last time I saw you." Fang sipped a bit.

"It tastes fine." He stared into the deep recesses of the cup, thinking. Max fidgeted uncomfortably. A few years ago she would have felt comfortable, or even enjoying Fang's presence. It was strange how things seem to change so quickly.

"Your kid's cute. The father must be very happy." Max laughed.

"I adopted Jake two years ago. Jealous?" A bit of fun wouldn't hurt. She could barely breathe in the tense atmosphere.

"You have no idea," Fang whispered. Silence entered the room again.

" Max, I'm sorry."

"_I forgive you."_

They smiled sadly, his a bit darker than hers.

"You changed a lot. The old Max would have been screaming at me and crying and trying to punch out one of my teeth. What happened? Besides me leaving the flock."

Max gave Fang a huge smile, one he wouldn't forget until his dying day.

"I caught myself."

Author comments...

Thanks for reading everyone!

Comments appreciated. If you really want to flame me, please do so in a nicer fashion. But, seriously , why even bother writing something so hurtful to other people. Stop complaining and write something yourself.

This doesn't mean constructive criticism isn't wanted.

The arrows took forever to create. I ended up using the letters "l" and "v" to make them.

Bye!


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